Hey everyone, Father’s Day is right around the corner. If you’re anything like us, you were raised by a good man who deserves to be rewarded at least once a year for the (minimum) 20 years of sacrifice he made to simply diminish the likelihood of you becoming a heathen. However, while our dads are great men whom we love dearly, they also overwhelmingly reiterate the stereotype that they are simple beasts when it comes to gifts. Basically, you can probably get your dad virtually anything on Father’s Day, and he’ll be a combination of totally stoked and unphased—so long as he can remain relatively inactive for most of the day. (Lest you surpass his already low expectations with a totally awesome gift he didn’t even know existed—in which case, let’s be honest: he’ll still probably spend most of the day napping in his favorite chair.)
Here are five creative and unorthodox gifts you can affordably impress(ish) Dad with on Sunday:
There’s a whole tier of gifts you could get Dad that are unapologetically self-serving—and a subscription box filled entirely with some of the best meat money can buy certainly fits this category. ButcherBox comes with 8-11 lbs. of flash frozen, antibiotic and hormone free…meat. At $129 a month, it’s a bit pricier than your garden variety subscription box; however, that much meat actually equates to about 20 meals at around $6 a pop. That said, 20 burgers/steaks/sandwiches is a lot for a dad who probably has at least one friend with high blood pressure (remember, these are dads we’re talking about), so the idea here is to turn this into a family BBQ moment with a proud dad at the helm. If you want to sweeten the load, try tossing in a personalized spatula to both remind Dad that he’s king of the backyard BBQ, and that you’re totally ready for lunch whenever he’s ready to wake up from his nap. Medium rare, please/cool/thanks/love you/bye.
Keeping with the culinary theme, the Hamdogger is a cheap gift for dads with a backwards sense of humor. Basically, this little device takes hamburger meat, and shapes it into a hot dog—therein enabling you to successfully confuse and upset everyone at your cookout. At less than $10, it pays for itself after one hearty guffaw from Dad and/or one elongated, confused glance from a stoner cousin at a family reunion. If your dad leans hard on a good “dad” joke, then this really is the Father’s Day gift that keeps on giving. Plus, at such a low price point, you’ve got a little extra skrilla to invest in a few other SkyMall-esque items to pad Mom’s affinity for public eye-rolls in your dad’s direction. Might we suggest something along the lines of a beer helmet or the gift suggestion below?
The Potty Putter
Another deserving entry on the list of Amazon’s strangest gift ideas, the Potty Putter is a putting practice mat and club designed for when Dad (or Mom, we guess), is sitting idle on the toilet. For whatever reason, stereotypical dads love both golf and lengthy stays in the bathroom, so the Potty Putter is a masterpiece of form and function. Somehow, this thing is even cheaper than the Hamdogger, coming in at just a hair under the price of a Unicorn Frappucino (that’s our new form of measurement, by the way); so really, it’s a no-brainer—if only to see how much your mom’s eyes will bug out at the reception of this beautiful piece of artificial grass craftsmanship. (But don’t let her fool you. Next time she hits sticks with the gals and manages to shave four to six strokes off her short game, you’ll know why.)
Mystery Science Theater 3000: 25th Anniversary Edition
Why is it that the older dads get, the greater their affinity for extremely low quality sci-fi? OK, so maybe this one comes from personal experience, but we can all agree that Third World piracy malls and empty-nester, Midwestern dads are single-handedly keeping the DVD player industry afloat, right? In which case, a super impressive box set of DVDs is a guaranteed win on Father’s Day—no snarky, gag-gift sarcasm involved. If your dad is less enthusiastic about sci-fi satire than ours, maybe lean into his surefire affinity for historical nonfiction with a box set of war documentaries instead. The crow flies east. The salmon swims upstream. And dads love historical nonfiction DVDS. There are certain rules of nature that just can’t be undermined.
Last, and…well…best is ManCrates, a delivery service designed for men of basically any and every interest. With crates ranging from auto care (fancy car wash stuff), to “bass whisperer” (fishing things), to pipe-carving (make your own tobacco pipe?!), each kit is packed tightly, sealed, and shipped with a crowbar. Yeah, you need a crowbar to open these boxes—which is both the most agro, and the most “dad” way to open a gift. The prices run anywhere from $30 to $130 or so, but with a range of interests across the dad strata, you’re sure to find something for your old man. No word as to why there isn’t a crate dedicated to DVDs about Vietnam, but you CAN get a “smash and grab” gift card for around $75 (a miscellaneous gift card baked into a concrete slab that Dad has to crush with a hammer to retrieve). So, send ManCrates a note and see if you can pack it with a Blockbuster Video gift card; Blockbuster isn’t really a thing anymore, but for all we know, it’s being stilted up solely by the 50+ Midwestern male demographic. After all, Radio Shack is still technically a thing, too…right?